When he got home – a good two hours after I had sent the message, I was steamed and not very nice. And because he had sent back that he was on his way, I assumed that meant “now”. Because I hadn’t said “I’m upset and could use your help dealing with this news” he thought he was okay to continue chatting for a bit. I watched him continue to sit with Princess for a good hour before leaving to head home.
I stood in the kitchen staring out the window. He replied with “on my way”.Īnd let the shitshow of miscommunication ensue. Steve had a date that evening with Princess, and I didn’t want to come off as the needy, whiny, clingy wife – so I just sent a text that said “T called, David is coming home on hospice tomorrow”. Yes, that’s literally what she said (as though I don’t know what hospice is?). This is how it went down: Jan 19 – T (for Twatwaffle/Twatopotamous, take your pick…if you only knew…) called me around 4pm to let me know David was coming home from the hospital on hospice to die. Which was a fact unknown to literally everyone until two days before he passed…because “it’s not anyone’s business”. There is a lot of personal, deep, dark back story that I’m going to skip over for the sake of time here – but his longtime girlfriend (who was his high school sweetheart, denies being his girlfriend while her husband was still alive, but many people know better)…was actually his, David’s, wife for much of the last year of his life. At the time of his passing I don’t know that he had anything not bionic or mechanical left of his heart (which makes me giggle in hindsight…) heart attacks, bypasses, pacemakers, artificial valves, cardiomyopathy, CHF, COPD, diabetes – all things that can be attributed to Agent Orange exposure – finally killed him on January 21st. A stoic Viet Nam Navy Sea Bee veteran, he was. Steve and I were still so new at this, there was the residual shit with Lexa, the Frank mess, kids with mental health issues…and then there’s David.įor those not in the know, David was my father. We moved slowly because I was absorbing and enjoying everything with her…but there was a lot going on.
Two and I clicked really well, a few dates, some making out and innocent touching, caressing while watching a movie or talking. Me, with less than zero experience with women, despite a strong curiosity since the middle of marriage #1 and her with a couple experiences. Kind, gentle, fierce, and like me – relatively new to poly, kind of same situation where it was an ‘ oh hey this is what we’re doing now‘ thing. There was some online chatting with a few guys, who were clearly just looking for a side piece, bored with home and trying to spice shit up, who knows?…And then January 2021 happened. It’s even more difficult when you don’t really know someone to have a meaningful conversation via text”…and that was the end of that. Which earned him this, “It’s just the way the previous messages were worded – then as a seeming afterthought ‘but of course that’s not all I’m looking for’…” and his scramble, “well I apologize if I came across that way” and my return of “no apology needed. And great sex is just the cherry on top”. To me it’s about spending time somebody enjoying their company. Then he came back with damage control, “Well it’s definitely not about fucking. Why else would someone be on dating sites?”.
To which I replied, “No…I fully understand that it’s going to be difficult for me to find someone that isn’t just seeing me as a fuck, due to me being married. Then he beeped back, “Well I hope I didn’t upset you with my honesty”. This message was met with radio silence for a hot minute. But of course that’s not all I’m looking for”. But to be honest more on the sexual side of it.
“I’ve thought about you a lot since we’ve met. I did have a coffee date that I thought went very well in mid-December with One, and was promptly ghosted for about 3 weeks…I get it – holidays and the like – until he messaged me after the start of the new year. My last 2020 post left off with basically the last time I saw Frank last year, there wasn’t much going on for me late November and December 2020.
Whilst browsing the almighty fakebook this morning in between tossing and turning after a short night of sleep and a long day yesterday, I saw a post that mentioned this…and the death of peace of mind is the apotheosis of what 2021 has been for me.